Her Smile
by greywitch99
Summary: SPOILERS! for end of season 2. "Don't die looking like that! You should come to death smiling! I promise you the smile you never had! Please!" I had been desperate. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her and I made a promise. A promise that I upheld as best I could in the time I had. Although it didn't always go completely as planned, I made her smile. And it was so worth it.


Silly Little Author's Note: Yes! I managed to finish before going on vacation. Sorry for any typos...I looked it over but I'm always bound to miss things. And grammatically maybe it isn't entirely sound but I wanted it to seem more like speech and people often tend not to speak in complete perfect sentences. It's a Lelouch x C.C. oneshot. It's based on an idea I've had for a little while, and I think Lelouch has gotten a bit sentimental. It's angst/romance with some humour thrown in here and there. Take things as you wish though, angst or not, humour or not, romance or not. But that's how I see it, so I classified it as I am supposed to as best I could. I'm being silly though...I'm in a weird mood so please forgive me while reading author's notes. Anyways, I had some fun writing it and I hope you enjoy it. =)

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass by the way, and do not claim to have any affiliation with it. This is entirely fan made.

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I could almost describe it as strange at first. It felt strange but...right, knowing that she wasn't ultimately with me because we made a deal. I could trust her before, yes. I cared about her before, cared for her quite a great deal if I am honest. I liked her before, and despite our spats and the frustrations that came with simply interacting with her, I had enjoyed her company. But after the contract was annulled it was...different. It was...right. It felt...pure.

She was there for one reason and one reason only. She wanted to be there. She wanted to be there, with me, until the very end. She knew what was at the end of the road...loss, pain, grief. Yet despite all that...she stayed.

In the beginning she was hesitant, not wanting me to go through with it, but eventually she came around in her own quiet way and I knew I had her support. At the very beginning she learned I would not be dissuaded, but she still had reservations. She didn't entirely understand my ideals and whether the price for it was worth it. But this has always been my dream, to create a better world, where people can be happy. This would also my punishment for all the wrong I had done. I may have killed, and others I knew may have died as well but by fulfilling the Zero Requiem their deaths wouldn't be in vain, and those in the future wouldn't have to die themselves or lose loved ones as I had. They could be happy, and they could smile. This would be my price, creating a better world...and to do it...I needed to be wiped out from existence first. There was no other choice to make. But that was _why_ she accepted it. Because, she knew even though I would have to pay the ultimate sacrifice to create this world, I think of its creation as redemption, and my dream. My dream had always been to see my loved ones happy and smiling. That is all I ask for in this world, just this one thing so of course she knew I would smile when the time came. And she accepted it.

If I had one regret it was her. It was knowing what waited for her at the end unlike the others. The others could live their lives, go to school, feed the hungry, laugh, smile, and in general spend time together and be happy. They would live their peaceful lives and then they would pass on, peacefully and contentedly knowing they had lived good lives filled with happiness and together with those they loved. Not her. I hoped she would be alright after I left, but she would have to live on, for eternity perhaps. She was always the wanderer without a home, any friends I hoped she would meet along the way I knew would succumb to the will of nature and despite her wishes, she would remain and have to move on, just as she always had, eternal and unchanging. She was trapped and held in place as the sands of time flowed past.

Despite my dream coming true, I would leave her alone, like all the others before me. I told her this once, under the cover of night. In the peaceful silence, I whispered an apology.

She didn't blame me, she told me. She said she was happy, that she was...living. I had in my own way ended her simple accumulation of experience. Even though I was promising the others tomorrow, what I was promising her was precious as well she said. It was today. I promised her today that I would give her something more valuable than gold or silver or the most beautiful gems. It was something you couldn't put a price on, and it was something more beautiful than anything in this world that either of us know. I promised her something very precious indeed. Something that not only she but I value. I promised her smile. The smile she never had. I promised to make her smile...today. She said that was the most cherished gift she had ever received, and probably ever would. Well that, and that she would mostly likely stuff her Cheese-kun down my throat if I didn't stop spouting nonsense...but that was besides the point.

That was what I did. I made her smile. But how does one go about making a usually expressionless witch smile? Well, there certainly were a few mishaps on the way, but I dare say I succeeded, and even one of the most minuscule and subtle of her smiles far outweighed the price. Actually, looking back, sometimes the price makes me like it even more. Maybe I was a little embarrassed at times...but isn't that just part of being _alive_? I've learned to cherish even that now, despite how uncomfortable I feel in the moment.

In the start I was rather inexperienced and clumsy. I had never really attempted to make someone smile deliberately besides my little sister, and she constantly offered them up without my doing anything at all. But I certainly made an effort, and I certainly made her smile.

So I thought one day, _What do girls like? Compliments right?_ Well...that's not natural for someone such as me. I prefer keeping any compliments I have to myself. But I put myself out there anyway, I actually told the girl she looked beautiful in her long black gown. It wasn't a lie. No, it certainly wasn't. She looked radiant. The problem however came with her reaction. She blinked, startled, but just ended up teasing me so instead of getting a blushing, smiling girl, I ended up flushed and flustered myself. But as I turned away, little did I know, I got the reaction I had been looking for. I learned that bit of information later. She had just kept it to herself at the time, in the subtlest way she knew how.

Then there was the time out in the garden. While sitting in the garden on the grass, just enjoying the gentle breeze in one of my spare days I thought of an idea. We were surrounded by a wide array of beautiful flowers so plucked one, turned to her with a warm smile and gently tucked it behind one ear. Those golden orbs of hers had widened a little, but then her expression softened and I was rewarded with one of her rare and precious, genuine smiles. We ended up having a rather nice conversation about the flowers and meanings of them, and one subject led to another as we talked for a number of hours actually. I think of that time fondly but what I remember most was certainly that smile.

Then of course there's always the classic. How do you make a girl smile? Well...how do you make a pizza obsessed, frustrating, stubborn, pain in my ass, willful, selfish, immortal, slovenly, lazy, bizarre woman smile? Easy. Pizza. Lots and lots of pizza. So that's exactly what I did. I called down to the kitchens and instructed the best chefs to make pizzas. They were all different flavours and I used my experience from an ungodly number of hours I spent with the woman to instruct them exactly what to do to best meet her preferences when it came to pizza. I have spent far too much time on the receiving end of one sided conversations about the food. And I even inspected them myself so she shouldn't be able to complain about anything. Yes, the Emperor of Britannia, the Demon King, became a pizza inspector. So they were delivered to the room on silver platters, all freshly baked, as a surprise. She did seem at least a little surprised, that I myself had done all this, but other than that the witch simply started devouring them like the black hole she is without so much as a thank you. And she even found something to complain about. I had been irritated, but that was simply who she was, and that's what made her C.C. and I wouldn't want her any other way. I learned that very well when she had amnesia. Besides, my annoyance dissipated when she smiled as she munched on my gift.

I thanked her once. It seems like it was eons ago now but at the same time...like yesterday. Does that make any sense? I suppose it doesn't matter either way. But anyways, I thanked her, for all she did. I didn't really even know her back then when I think about it. I just scratched the surface, compared to what I know now. But I did learn one thing for certain...a name. She had asked me to say her name again. Like I did before, as appreciation. So I did but apparently it came out wrong, the picky girl. I have only called her by it a handful of times, and even fewer when she could hear. Whenever I said it after that first time, really I ended up saying it out of earshot or as she was unconscious, or just in my mind. I thought it was better that way. But after all this time, I think she deserves a thanks. After all she's done, and now that I understand who she is. I said it, just as she liked, so she could hear. It isn't something that can be planned or asked for. It needs to be said freely. You need to caress it almost, and stroke it with you mind and voice, to get it just as she likes it. It's required to say it with sincerity, tenderness, and sympathy, like you treasure it in your heart as she put it. It didn't seem nearly as difficult as it did back then, all that time ago. It seemed simple. Also, I'll never forget her reaction. Just stopping in her tracks, totally motionless as though she had turned to stone, and in complete shock. She closed her eyes briefly, as if savouring the moment. And when she opened them, she turned to me, smiling, with tears pooled in those golden eyes. She breathed a feeble, "Thank you," her voice so soft and gentle it was almost inaudible. No C.C., thank you. I don't know why she ever thought I hated her, well I'm not always the kindest person, but still. I know why snow is white, and I still think it's beautiful. I don't hate it. Not at all.

Well those were few times I actually made her smile. It certainly isn't all smooth sailing. Sometimes, though I make an attempt, the witch's face remained as stoic and passive as ever.

There was time when I thought, _what makes people laugh and smile? Oh, of course! Comedians. Jokes. Jokes are funny._ Not my best idea... I don't know many jokes so I just looked some up on the internet, and skimmed over them, memorizing them. And then since I apparently have a horrible grasp of comedy according to my friends at school, I looked up tips on how to tell jokes and I observed comedians, analyzing them. It's all in the punch line. I got this. But...she didn't laugh. C.C. didn't even crack the faintest smile. She just raised a brow at me. I'm funny right? I can be funny. I just don't understand. I got every bit of the most famous comedians' technique down. Was it the type of joke? Was it just me? No maybe it was her fault for just being a sourpuss. What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu you need tweetment. If you have swine flu you need oink-ment. Not that one C.C.? Okay, maybe it could be considered lame... But I actually understood what was supposed to be funny about that one. It's a play on words. I'll just choose another one. I like this one. Heisenberg and Schrödinger are driving in a car and they get pulled over. The police officer asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg says, "Well, not really but I can tell you exactly where I was." Get it? All I got was a raised eyebrow again. I gave it a few more tries but just ended up giving up. I should just stop telling jokes for good. Whenever I try I just end up with lots and lots and lots of dead people. Oh my. Just give me a minute, that last one really wasn't funny... It's the effort that counts though, right?

Enough of my failures. Sometimes I could get her to smile as per my plan and sometimes I failed. I tried to hide my disappointment when I did. But other times, I did it unintentionally. I'm sure I don't know about many of those times but these are a few I witnessed myself, or that she actually admitted to.

We were having a conversation. Well, Suzaku said it sounded more like an argument but I'll leave it at a heated discussion or intellectual debate. I was rather engrossed in the discussion when I got up to walk into the next room to retrieve an object to make my point. Well I was so engrossed that I wasn't really paying attention to where I was stepping, so I ended up stepping into the side of the couch and actually...literally...may have...fallen and flipped over the couch into a face plant. Needless to say, I was rather embarrassed and angry at the entire circumstance. I dared her to make a comment...and she didn't. I was surprised with a smile and I hadn't realized it, but I don't think I had ever heard C.C. laugh like that before. Admittedly...it was a rather pleasant sound. That smile, and fluting laughter, while it made me more embarrassed, also made it seem like the whole ordeal was worth it.

Oh laughter, how sweet a thing you are. I must admit, it is not something overly well known to me. I don't laugh much, but I did that day. Why I laughed was of little importance here, but C.C. was at my side during the moment and her reaction is the thing that is relevant. When it first started I turned away, unable to contain it, and as I did C.C. still was deadpanned. It was when I started turning back that I caught a glance of her out of the corner of my eye. She was smiling. She was just looking at me laughing...and she smiled. Was it infectious? Perhaps. Did she laugh for the same reason I did? No. I think that is for certain. Call me a fool, but I think it may have been just seeing me laugh that caused it and nothing more. Just seeing me happy.

An Emperor is required to do a lot of paperwork. There was one evening, when I sat among the mounds of papers I needed to review, approve, and sign, that I apparently made C.C. smile. Paper work is tedious, and such a mundane task. I loathe it, but what must be done will be done. The issue is I had let it pile up and now had been paying the price over the last two days. I didn't sleep, and if I wasn't fulfilling any other duties, I sat and did paperwork. I was tired, and it seems as though at one point I simply dozed off though I don't remember doing so. I have a bad habit of doing that. I have for years. I woke up later on that night, to find my head on the desk, and a blanket wrapped around my shoulders and the windows shut. I didn't remember a blanket before, and the windows had been open. Nonetheless it was appreciated. There had been a chill in the air. When I retreated to my quarters to sleep properly, as I had no intention of continuing my work, I ended up having a conversation with C.C. who revealed that it was her who had found me like that. She was the one that left the blanket and closed the windows, when as she described it she, "found me unconscious in a small puddle of my own drool." I will have you know that I do not drool in my sleep, but then she said something else. She said it made her smile. And when I asked why she responded, "Just...you. You and your little quirks." And as she turned away I swear I saw a little smile creeping at the edges of her lips.

Those certainly aren't all of those little moments, but those are a scattered few, randomly here and there. I may have gone to some silly lengths sometimes, but...I can say it was worth it. Every one of them was worth it, no matter how small or brief.

Even if I was in the process of changing the world...the little details can't be overlooked, for they hold great importance as well. Like the way the edges of her eyes crinkle, ever so slightly when she smiles. And how those eyes fill to the brim with soft sincerity and warmth when usually, despite their colour, they look cold and distant and old due to all the years spent in solitude. And how the lips curled, and the muscles shifted ever so slightly under the ivory skin, transforming it from something stoic and otherworldly to something so soft and full of warmth. Whenever she smiled it wasn't a big grin or anything of the sort. That wasn't C.C.. It was subtle and soft. It was all the little details that shifted ever so slightly and transformed it, lending her life. And it was beautiful.

For that moment, I would feel at peace, I would feel good and I would feel like everything was going to be alright. No people dying by my hand, no people calling me demon or tyrant, and no sword waiting to impale me at the end of the road. I felt like I had done something good in this world, and even for that fleeting moment, I know I brought out something beautiful in her. Something that she deserved.

But all good things come to an end. I gave her today...but that's all I could do. I would die like all the others, and she would be alone once again. Only immortality can stop that. There was to be no tomorrow, just today. But I gave her many todays... and that counted for something. It was just a shame that it couldn't last longer, but enough. To idle on those regrets is pointless. There is no use because there was no way that it was possible...right, C.C.?

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Please review. Reviews are welcome. I hope you enjoyed it. =)

Side Ramble By Me That You May Very Well Want To Ignore Because I'm Silly: Perhaps it's not as sad a story as it seems to be but that is a conclusion you must choose for yourself, because I will not tell you. Once written, I don't believe it's the author's place to dictate how others receive and interpret their work outside the work itself, though of course I think they have the right to say anything they choose, just not expect others to follow. It's artistic after all and it's so much more fun making assumptions yourself rather than hanging on every word the creator says or doesn't. So how do you see the end? How do you see their relationship? I have classified this story as best I could, based simply on its content and how I see it. It's just my opinion, so take things as you will because that's more fun...right, reader?


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